i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
