You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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