I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
