I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
