just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She needs sedatives and a leash
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
