I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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