if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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