you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
