I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
