I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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