If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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