matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
