so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Randomize
