your thong is hanging out like whoa
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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