I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
