Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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