my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So much rum. So many feels.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
