can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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