omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
