Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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