marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
