omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
