I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
