So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
