did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
