I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
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