Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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