she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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