that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
