I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
