he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
