That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
