dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
