The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
