You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
