Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
It's shark week go big or go home
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
