Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
