oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
