You're so nebulous sometimes
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
