I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
