and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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