And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
cat food counts as protein by the way
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
