My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
