I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't think brook has ever known best
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
