He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
