I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
