ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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