i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
