as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
