that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
